Draft of my new article in The CE4 Corner
================================
This week I've had a number of very interesting - and very heart wrenching - calls from experiencers out there in various parts of the USA. Several called me at rather odd hours, either late at night or early in the morning (at least early for me...). In either case, when my cell phone rings at that time of night I can tell it's important. Few people would call late at night unless they had a compelling reason to do so. In several cases, the reason was that the person was alone and scared. They had no idea who to turn to, and then somehow, they found my (or another CE4 researcher/worker's) contact info.
More than one person has described how the phenomenon has left them almost completely isolated. It has wrecked their family life, driving a wedge between them and their spouse, alienating (literally) parents, children, friends, etc. It has left them isolated to face the reality of their experiences alone and vulnerable. It once again drives home to me the impact of the encounter on the experiencer and the resulting impact on the lives of those closest to them. I call this the impact of the impact.
For a "typical" experiencer (if anybody could be called "typical"), somewhere out there in the human world, the biggest question becomes, who can they tell? Who will believe them? The CE4 experience shatters the concepts our society holds as being real -we live in a human-dominated world and a technological society. We associate with other humans in a particular culture (one we have been raised within, or have become acclimated to). Yet suddenly the experiencer finds him/herself becoming somewhat like an experimental animal, no loner at the top of the heap. In the realm of the visitors, humans appear not to hold all that high a standing. Thus, the homo-sapien-centric world we live in is suddenly turned upside down, and the experiencer is left with a powerful and often-traumatic experience. Some aspects of the CE4 event they may be able to remember. Other aspects of it just present as an intractable mystery - missing time, reality paradoxes, paranormal events, etc... And for many experiencers, there is no one they can tell.
One person, several years ago was scheduled for regression work for a series of encounters that had been bothering her for years. A few hours beforehand, she called me up, telling me she needed to cancel. Her fiance's mother had read something on a Christian website about how hypnosis was evil. On the same site, it talked about the demonic nature of the close encounter. As a result, her fiancee was suddenly opposed to her doing hypnotic work with me, or even to speak with me about his encounters. Much more could be said about this case, and indeed I have spoken about similar ones in previous articles. However, the key point here is that the experiencer was effectively cut off from any help. She couldn't share her account with anyone among her family and friends (all conservative Christian) without frightening them of possible diabolical influences, etc. Ultimately, her sharing with someone who would listen to her without judgement or jumping to conclusions (I believe that no one knows enough about the phenomenon to draw a conclusion) was truly the first step in the process of coming to terms with her encounters. (I have no idea whether she ended up marrying the man who was so opposed to her work with me - whichever way she went, I wish her the best).
Another experiencer called me from somewhere in Heartland USA, telling me that she had seen some strange lights in her backyard She had also experienced power failures, missing time, poltergeist activity, etc. Again, no one would listen to her; no one would believe her. Long-since divorced, she lived alone. Her children had moved on and she lived out in the boonies, having no neighbors. Thus she felt alone and exposed to whatever experience the phenomenon might bring her.
My first question to her was whether she felt physically threatened. (If this should be the case, I usually recommend the person call 911, even for something like a UFO encounter.) But now, she seemed to be OK for the moment, just confused about recent events - and, again, no one to share her experiences with. Thus, she bent my ear for hours, telling me of event after event...
Researchers have noted how the experience seems to propagate down family lines - usually, I find, down the maternal family line from mother to daughter. This was certainly true of this particular exeriencer, who told me about her mother being a healer, her grandmother a witch, etc...
Yet while even experiencing the unexplained themselves, many in the family are often in denial of the phenomenon. Thus, the experience seems to tear apart families at an alarming rate. Like most aspects of the experiencer phenomenon, there is very little data to make anything but a wild guess, but my guesstimate is that the divorce rate among experiencers is probably twice what it is in the general population. Thus, once again, the experiencer is isolated from her (most experieners I have heard from seem to be female) otherwise-supportive family and friends, leaving her alone to face the challenges of a shattered reality.
How can we help heal the pain that so many experiencers describe? Probably the best healing tool for the experiencer is the ear. Most of the time, the experiencer just needs someone to listen. The next healing tool is the shoulder - a place to cry, to let out the trauma and loneliness that come with a shattered reality. Finally, understanding and forgiveness can help - but only when the experiencer is ready (that's another story).
Meanwhile, finding others who have experienced the phenomenon first hand can be a great help - like minded souls with whom one can share their experiences.
Several times, experiencers have asked me to help them save their marriage or other close relationships. While there is little I can do for their marriage (I'm not a marriage & family counselor), perhaps better understanding of the phenomenon can help the spouse come to terms with their loved-ones experiences. Often both the experiencer and the spouse need to come to terms with the shattered reality of close encounters - a double challenge...
Thus, the close encounter affects all of society, not just those who experience it directly. For each experiencer, there is usually a family and/or a circle of friends. All of them feel the secondary impact of the encounters. It is the hidden effect of encounters I call the impact of the impact.
