"Nobody Believes Me" –
Thoughts on sharing the extraordinary...
©2014 by Craig R. Lang, MS CHt
This is a draft of a new article on my website and newsletter. Open to comments. What do you think?
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The phone rings. It's mid-evening. I answer and introduce myself, “Explore
with Hypnosis. This is Craig Lang, How can I help you?”
On the other end of the line, I hear
a voice, hesitant at first. “Hi, I got your name from the Internet. Do you work
with alien abduction?"
I explain that I am a hypnotherapist and that I do research into the
unexplained, events such as close encounters. The response is often something like,
"You're going to think I'm crazy but...." When I hear this, I know
this is going to be a long, powerful phone call, and I’m going to be busy for at
least the next hour.
Assuming the call isn't a hoax or telephone prank (I seldom if ever
answer a "blocked" caller ID, especially late at night), I find that
the person almost always has an account of one or more unusual events. These
may have occurred long ago, or they may have been quite recent. But almost
universally, knowledge and memories of the extraordinary weigh heavily upon the
experiencer's mind - enough to prompt them to call a stranger with a story that
for most people is beyond belief.
One of the things I hear toward the end of the call is, "at last,
someone believes me..."
This is followed by, "When I tell them that I am an alien
abductee, they all think I'm crazy..."
And finally, the biggest question for the experiencer is, "who can
I tell?" "Who is going to
believe me?"
The experiencer carries a heavy weight on their psyche. They are “entrusted”
with knowledge that there is far more to our reality than most of us know. They
have undergone experience(s) that are literally reality-shattering. They are
powerful, life-altering, too central to the person's life not to share with
someone else. Yet few if any can handle this awareness of the extraordinary.
So, how can he/she find someone to share that critical event with? Who can help
carry this burden of the unexplained?
The first question is, “how can I know who to trust?”
The second question is, “If the person is trustworthy and well
intentioned, how much can I tell them? How much of my story can the person
handle?”
These are the two critical questions to answer before sharing your
experience. In this article, we take them on, one at a time.
Who can I trust?
There is little beyond practical experience to help you determine who
you can trust with the details of your experiences. How well do you know a
given person? Are they close to you? What is your relationship to them?
If they are a professional, what is their reputation? These are matters
for personal discernment. Health care professionals are generally bound by an
oath of confidence. Any medical, psychology or complimentary health
practitioner should as a matter of course, keep whatever you tell them as
confidential. Yet with a professional as with anyone else, you need to ask how
much of the extraordinary the person can handle. If your own judgment is to
limit what you say, then respect that inner warning voice.
Friends and family are the biggest wild-card. How long have you known any
given person? What is your relationship with the person? Are they friends? Family?
Do you trust them? If so, is the person open to new ideas? If they learn you
have had extraordinary experiences, will they hold that in confidence? Do they
have any interests besides/beyond being an ear for you? Only your knowledge of
the other person and your relationship with them can answer that. Ultimately,
it's a matter of personal discernment
How much can I tell?
The second question is the biggest. How can you tell someone about your
experiences and the extraordinary events in your life without overwhelming
them? While it may seem hopeless, and you may feel totally isolated, there is
usually some degree of sharing you can do (assuming the person is trustworthy,
as described above).
Perhaps, you could drop a little hint. Mention something about
Extraterrestrial life, perhaps a recent episode of Ancient Aliens, or something
you read recently about a new planet found around a distant star. Whatever it
is, keep it relatively mainstream and conservative.
Gauge their response. If the person seems interested in the topic, then
perhaps mention something a little bit more. Are they open to the topic of
UFOs, extraordinary encounters, etc.? If they are, then perhaps you could
mention that you saw something unusual. This again, is a matter of personal
discretion. For any given person, proceed carefully, but determine where the
outer edge of their “reality box” is.
The key is to gradually meter out a little bit more, making sure that
the person's own personal reality isn’t too stressed by what you are saying. Until
you are sure of the other person's comfort level, keep your narrative limited. Stay
as conservative as necessary to maintain the relationship and the other person’s
well-being. Only once you are sure of the other person's comfort level, will it
be time to tell the full story.
This caution applies to professionals you work with as well. You don't
need to tell your auto mechanic about the bunion on your toe. Do you need to
tell your doctor about your UFO sighting? I often hear from people that think
they might have some kind of "Implant" in their body - usually the
hand, foot or nose, but it could be anywhere. The person may be reticent to go
to their doctor. "What would I tell them, that I have an alien
implant?"
If the thing in your foot was a piece of glass or wood, would the doctor
care where it came from? Probably not. The key is to remove the object, heal
any damage or infection, and prevent further injury. For medical purposes, it probably
doesn’t matter where the object came from, regardless of whether it is a piece
of glass or an object of unknown origin.
So what do you tell the doctor? Perhaps you could simply say that you
have something, some object, lodged in your foot (or wherever the object is
located). You don't need to mention anything about potential extraordinary
origins.
If it turns out that the doctor is open to more extraordinary topics
(such as close encounters or alien implants) you might tell him/her more. This
you can gauge as you would with any other potential confidant. First find their
comfort threshold. Tell a little bit at a time, carefully observing their
reaction and telling as much as needed at that moment.
In short, the question is not one of black vs white - tell vs no-tell. Reality
is usually a continuum of shades of gray. Regardless of how heavily the story
weighs on your mind, the story is yours to control. You can choose how much to
tell. Getting help is important, but it is also vital to be aware of who is
trustworthy, and how much they are able to handle the accounts of your
experiences.
Yes, you can tell someone about your experiences, at least a little bit.
And yes, people will believe you, at least up to a certain limit. It’s up to
you to determine where that limit is, how far the other person’s reality boundary
extends before you decide to share the extraordinary.
