A few weeks ago, a client I had looked forward to working with no-showed. The person was an excellent hypnotic subject, highly motivated and doing well. This was to be our wrap up session.
After months of work, he was doing great. Everything went superbly as we finished up our work last week. Then, less than 48 hours before this session time, he called to tell me he didn't want to come to our final session. Last time, we had apparently brushed on some things that subsequently, must have really frightened him, even though he had handled magnificently all of the challenges he had faced at the time. Apparently in the days following, he had thought about them and in the process, gotten scared. I urged him to come so we could talk about it, look the beast in the eye. But apparently, the fear was too great.
For me, it was a disappointment. I enjoyed working with him and to be honest, I like success. Being deprived of that final red ribbon on an extensive set of solid, successful work is at once saddening and frustrating. To end the work on less than a wonderful note is even more so. Yet life must go on. We must all let go. Ultimately, the present moment is all there is
For me, the challenge is what, in eastern traditions, is called the ideal of non-attachment. Ultimately, we can only control intentions. We cannot control outcomes. While the work was delightfully successful up to this point, it was truly disappointing to see the person end his opportunity for growth and healing. I was sad to see him miss out on the final rewards of conclusion to a good run of work. Yet in the end, his outcomes are his alone to control, not mine. All I can control is my own intentions - to be a caring guide and a helpful tool for healing.
For him, the challenge of the healer's doorway was strong. Fear in anticipation of the demons of his past halted him at the doorway, even though I had earlier watched him confront and defeat those very demons. To me, it looked like the job was done. He had finished the hard part, but then he quit.
For him the challenge was fear. For me the challenge is to let go of attachment to results, whatever they may be. Ultimately, we can only do our best, and I can only hope the months of work we did will help him. I think I touched his life with light and healing in ways that I will probably never know. And now, wherever his path takes him, I wish him well.
