Some time ago I presented a two-hour lecture on hypnosis and hypnotherapy to the Psychology 101 class at a local community college. It was a great class, and I really like the instructor. It was a delightful experience, and it reminded me of how much I love teaching. In another life, I would be a professor. It prompted me to think about all of the people walking around asking themselves, "What do I want to do when I grow up? Who /what do I want to be?"
There are so many possibilities, and so many paths. Some might lead to fulfilling lives. Other paths might work for a while and then it might be necessary to move on. Other paths are much less of a fit, and forcing one's self to stay on that path would lead to increasing degrees of unhappiness in life.
For some, perhaps the solution is to not grow up - simply staying on a default path, avoiding (procrastinating) life decisions altogether. Yet the road leads somewhere. Even if you don't choose to decide, the decision will happen. You will end up somewhere, whether you like it or not. So wouldn't it be better to end up somewhere desirable? What do I want do do? Where do I want the road to go?
Many of my clients over the years have asked this same question - and within them, there was a very good reason why they couldn't answer it at that moment. Each of us has our own crossroads, our own questions. And each of us has to figure out the answers at our own pace. The challenge comes when something within one's self makes then unable or unwilling to seek out the answer. And as a result, some people follow the path of least resistance - or even no path at all.
As a late high school kid, I loved rocketry and electronics - especially amateur radio. It was automatically assumed that I would become an engineer. Yet my interests were more in science than in engineering. I would rather have been studying astronomy, rocketry and physics. Still, I took the path of least resistance - eventually graduating in engineering. Then, upon graduation, I took a job in corporate America - in the defense industry. I quickly realized this path wasn't for me, but it took over twenty years for me to actually do something about it.
This experience makes me very empathetic with clients who describe feeling stuck in that same way. Somehow, the path they are on doesn't feel right. Maybe it's the stress level, or for any other reason, corporate America doesn't fit. Most often, it is simply the realization that the path doesn't fulfill an earlier dream. As time goes on, the dissonance between the job (and perhaps other areas of life) and the dream seems to widen. Eventually, it even becomes hard to get out of bed in the morning to face another day. Something has to change.
For me, it was the deeply ingrained interest in astronomy, space travel, extraterrestrial life and alien contact, as well as consciousness studies and the deep mind. It wasn't until I became involved in MUFON as a field investigator, and then becoming a hypnotherapist, that I began to see that there was a way, a path that would help fulfill my dream of exploring, understanding and advancing human knowledge of science.At least for now, I seem to be on that path.
For many clients, I suggest something along the lines of the New Horizon methodology - descended from the NASA Horizon Mission Methodology developed during the 1990s. It focuses on finding ways to accomplish the "impossible". How do we go beyond the next step, and take the next leap? How do we reach a whole new world beyond our present horizon.
And how do I as a hypnotherapist use this process to help someone break out of their present world?
Picture life a couple of years from now. If you could do anything you wanted, without constraints, what would you do? What would your passion be? What would feel fulfilling to you? And above all, in all honesty, who do you see yourself being? Picture that, and imagine a day in that world. What does it feel like to be that person? Allow it to settle into your consciousness as if it were a solid reality.
Then imagine you are looking back from that future reality, noticing what it took to arrive from the present day. What obstacles were there? What did you have to learn, change or become? What skills did you have to develop? What challenges did you have to overcome?
Perhaps the most important step in traveling down a road is to begin. Returning back form the future, picture the road from the present to that future reality. What was the first step you took down that road? How did you begin? Where did you start? What was that experience like?
After that, additional steps follow, and the important thing is to take the steps one at a time. Planning and road-mapping is vital but each step has to be taken one by one. And before you know it, you have arrived at your first destination - and there is never a single destination. Each destination is really just another step on the road. So picture your later destinations - shorter term goals and longer term goals - miles, yards and inches. At some point, imagine yourself at each of those, and figure out how the road led you to (and through) them.
But the first step is finding that future - what is your passion, your dream? Who do you want to be? And is the present and future worlds congruent with that "Me"?
There may be many answers to these questions - maybe only one - or maybe a path of least resistance. But you will most likely end up doing something. For better or for worse, your path will lead you somewhere. It can be take you where you want to go and who you want to be, or it can lead some place else.
Who do you want do be? Which path would you rather travel?
